God bless the taxi driver

With tits that felt like boulders, general clumsiness and irritability I knew it was immanent, but on the boat back from Capri I came on. Right in the middle of my holiday. Thank you God, thank you very fucking much.

The only thing I missed about being with my ex-boyfriend was that he didn’t mind a bout of passionate period sex. Paul is far too freaked out by the whole concept. When he first felt the little bit of blue thread between my cunt lips, it was almost impossible to persuade him that he didn’t have to go home there and then. If I hadn’t suggested that he should bugger me instead, I think he probably would have done just that. He still can’t be convinced that, apart from being a bit messy, no harm’s done. 

It’s true that when I’m in the middle of my monthly cycle I do feel like a “randy little whore”, but that doesn’t mean I always want anal sex. Sometimes I only really want a nice big cock deep in my cunt. Since I parted company with my ex-boyfriend it’s meant that the only sexual gratification I could receive for a few days each month would come from being buggered, rather reluctantly fingered or forgetting about the whole idea of having a sexual partner and giving myself a little treat with one of my toys. And then the Irishman came along – hurrah!

The nuns at my school managed to make all of us feel dirty about menstruation, and I thought for a long time that Catholic boys would have picked up on that little bit of dogma. Paul is also a Catholic but my ex-boyfriend was brought up as a Protestant. Until Ted came along I was convinced that I could never find a believer from the true church who’d be able to satisfy me all month.

I am not going to be the only girl in our villa not getting shagged at night. And if Francisco or Gennaro have a problem with it then I decided that they can fuck off.

I needn’t have worried too much, because somewhere on the floor of my bedroom there’s a discarded, used tampon. I just can’t find it, but I really have to before I leave. I don’t my the maid arriving and finding that my sheets have a few rusty looking stains on them, but it’s really not fair to leave her to discover that.

Gennaro can find himself another girl on holiday for the rest of the week.

I know he doesn’t speak English as his first language, but I didn’t want to hear, “OK. So we only a-fuck uppa de ass tonight. Is cool?”

But God bless the taxi driver…

In my mouth, between my tits, in my cunt – and yes, uppa my ass!